I cannot believe it's only been ten days since this amazing little boy came to live with us! I have seen so much progress and so many changes in him in this short amount of time that I am in constant awe of how God has moved in this situation.
The first few nights he vehemently avoided pajamas or anything sleep related, even wanting to wear his clothes and shoes to bed. In addition being in a new environment, we also attribute this to his night terrors, which probably make him avoid sleep. However, after about five days, he put on his pajamas one night, crawled into bed, asked for a story and then went to sleep with no fight! This has been great for him, as well as his daddy and I! He still cries out a lot during the night, but it doesn't seem to wake him up. Sadly, he doesn't have words for his dreams yet, so we cannot process them with him.
After three days, Will got the first spontaneous "I love you." I got mine the next day. After five days, he began calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy." Prior to that, he would call us by our names or would refer to my husband as "that other boy." :) He rarely asks for "Other Mommy" or "Other Daddy" now. He told me yesterday that, "I only have one house...this one."
I had heard from friends who are fostering that their kids had acclimated quickly as well, but I did not expect him to feel so at home with us so fast. I think kids that have been abused are very intuitive and learn to be experts at reading people in order to protect themselves. I can only assume that our little red head can sense the love we have for him and knows that we will take care of him and keep him safe. There are moments where he and I will just stare at each other and then he will smile as if to say, "I get it. You love me." And I certainly do!!!!!
Things are not completely rosey, but we feel like they are progressing appropriately. He asks a lot of questions like, "What's my Daddy's name?" and "Where is my other house?" We are trying to help him process the change in his time and on his level so that he can understand that this really is his new home. We continually reminding him that his things will be there when he returns and that we always come back for him. I think these will be conversations that we have multiple times over the years on different levels, as he grows emotionally and cognitively.
First of all, I LOVE the family pic!! I am SO happy for y'all. I'm glad your little red head is warming up so quickly. I don't know what the research says or what experience dictates, but it seems logical that despite the multiple transitions -- he's young enough that he's going to latch onto this stable attachment of a family :-) Anyway, he can process when he's a teenager or young adult! Youth is for fun :-) Glad he's finally getting the loving fun he deserves. Y'all are in an inspiration - truly. May God continue to shape you both to love Kolby in the way the our Father loves us. I know He will give you all you need to not only be fantastic parents but also He will continue to be your Father, gently allowing understanding, patience, and grace. It's evident that He's done a miraculous work in y'all's hearts already. This is a precious journey to have to privilege to hear you share about. xoxo, J
ReplyDeleteWhat a beautiful message. Kolby is such a blessed boy to have you and Will as his Mommy and Daddy.
ReplyDeletePlease, never stop writing.
Judy
Kasi, I love your stories. And I love hearing how God has moved in your lives and given Kolby a great home and amazing parents. Although I've never met Will, I know that with God sending him to you, he has to be amazing, because you deserve no less.
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