I am an analagous learner. I am not entirely certain that that is even a word, but doesn't it sound like the best way to say that I learn best through analogies? So I have spent the last two weeks searching for an analogy to explain the swirl of feelings inside me. I want to put words to my feelings of complete awe and being completey overwhelmed at the same time, a way to understand how I can be so dying for ten minutes to myself and yet miss him while he naps. I want a way to explain how my little red head, my husband and I are all teaching each other about how to be a family. And then it hit me, we are Nicholas Cage in Family Man.
I am not someone who has always dreamed of being a mother. I don't even want to have my own biological children. Kids are great, but I was pretty satisfied just being an aunt and dreaming of one day running an orphanage in another country. So, suddenly having a nearly 4 year old in my house makes me feel like a bit of an imposter. I really don't know what I am doing! I love him, and am loving every moment I get to spend with him. For some people, that means that they love being a mom, which is undoubtedly a calling in it's own right. However, for me, I think I would say that I love being with my precious son and knowing that I will get to watch him grow into the man he will become, whom I believe will be an incredible person and a world changer! And somehow in the midst of that, I have the distinct honor of being the person that he throws his arm around, smiles and calls "Mommy..."
And I am thankful that it is not "just a glimpse...."
Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mommy. Show all posts
Friday, July 15, 2011
Sunday, July 10, 2011
After One Week....
I cannot believe it's only been ten days since this amazing little boy came to live with us! I have seen so much progress and so many changes in him in this short amount of time that I am in constant awe of how God has moved in this situation.
The first few nights he vehemently avoided pajamas or anything sleep related, even wanting to wear his clothes and shoes to bed. In addition being in a new environment, we also attribute this to his night terrors, which probably make him avoid sleep. However, after about five days, he put on his pajamas one night, crawled into bed, asked for a story and then went to sleep with no fight! This has been great for him, as well as his daddy and I! He still cries out a lot during the night, but it doesn't seem to wake him up. Sadly, he doesn't have words for his dreams yet, so we cannot process them with him.
After three days, Will got the first spontaneous "I love you." I got mine the next day. After five days, he began calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy." Prior to that, he would call us by our names or would refer to my husband as "that other boy." :) He rarely asks for "Other Mommy" or "Other Daddy" now. He told me yesterday that, "I only have one house...this one."
I had heard from friends who are fostering that their kids had acclimated quickly as well, but I did not expect him to feel so at home with us so fast. I think kids that have been abused are very intuitive and learn to be experts at reading people in order to protect themselves. I can only assume that our little red head can sense the love we have for him and knows that we will take care of him and keep him safe. There are moments where he and I will just stare at each other and then he will smile as if to say, "I get it. You love me." And I certainly do!!!!!
Things are not completely rosey, but we feel like they are progressing appropriately. He asks a lot of questions like, "What's my Daddy's name?" and "Where is my other house?" We are trying to help him process the change in his time and on his level so that he can understand that this really is his new home. We continually reminding him that his things will be there when he returns and that we always come back for him. I think these will be conversations that we have multiple times over the years on different levels, as he grows emotionally and cognitively.
The first few nights he vehemently avoided pajamas or anything sleep related, even wanting to wear his clothes and shoes to bed. In addition being in a new environment, we also attribute this to his night terrors, which probably make him avoid sleep. However, after about five days, he put on his pajamas one night, crawled into bed, asked for a story and then went to sleep with no fight! This has been great for him, as well as his daddy and I! He still cries out a lot during the night, but it doesn't seem to wake him up. Sadly, he doesn't have words for his dreams yet, so we cannot process them with him.
After three days, Will got the first spontaneous "I love you." I got mine the next day. After five days, he began calling us "Mommy" and "Daddy." Prior to that, he would call us by our names or would refer to my husband as "that other boy." :) He rarely asks for "Other Mommy" or "Other Daddy" now. He told me yesterday that, "I only have one house...this one."
I had heard from friends who are fostering that their kids had acclimated quickly as well, but I did not expect him to feel so at home with us so fast. I think kids that have been abused are very intuitive and learn to be experts at reading people in order to protect themselves. I can only assume that our little red head can sense the love we have for him and knows that we will take care of him and keep him safe. There are moments where he and I will just stare at each other and then he will smile as if to say, "I get it. You love me." And I certainly do!!!!!
Things are not completely rosey, but we feel like they are progressing appropriately. He asks a lot of questions like, "What's my Daddy's name?" and "Where is my other house?" We are trying to help him process the change in his time and on his level so that he can understand that this really is his new home. We continually reminding him that his things will be there when he returns and that we always come back for him. I think these will be conversations that we have multiple times over the years on different levels, as he grows emotionally and cognitively.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)