Clueless

We went to the circus this weekend and neither my wife nor I can ever remember going to the circus as children, but I have pictures showing me at the circus, so I guess I went. We (the adults) were excited to go and we shared our excitement with the red head. He started getting excited a couple days before, and then it was finally circus day. Yay, we get to go to the circus today! He was excited, mostly because we were excited. We get to the arena and immediately the marketing begins, “buy a hat for your boy sir, your boy needs a hat”. We rush to the ATM to get some money to buy a hat only to find out he doesn’t want a hat. Great! Inside are more little-people-money-wasters, glowing swords, spinning wands, popcorn, candy, stuffed animals, balloon animals…..everything a little person “wants” but doesn’t need. “I want a sword, I want popcorn, I want a Spongeball balloon”. “How about a hat”, my wife says. He agreed, it was the cheapest and also the cutest, so he got a hat. The show was starting to begin and I ask the red head, “have you ever been to the circus before”? A normal question for my wife and I to ask him. In fact we ask him all the time questions about him and the things he has done….. do you like this, have you done this before, what is your favorite this or that, can you tell me when you did that, what did you do at your other house, what did your other mommy do when you did that, did you do this with your other daddy……. We are basically doing research, collecting as much data about him as possible so we can make “qualified, management” decisions……..OK, so maybe we are just trying to make it as parents and we need all the info we can get, but it sounds better when you use words like “qualified” and “management”. Anyway, I ask him “have you ever been to the circus before?” I notice the mother holding the cotton candy next to me giving me a strange look, a look that says “what kind of parent are you, don’t you know anything about your kid”. Now I could probably get some grace if the red head wasn’t a red head, maybe a completely different colored head, but unfortunately for me he and I are very similar in appearance so when people look at us there is no doubt that he is mine. As I escorted my child to his seat, the cotton candy mother gave me a final glance which pretty much said, “lazy dad out with his NEW wife because he only gets to see his kids once a month, probably doesn’t even pay child support”. TOUGH GLANCE! Those glances from all the “real parents” out there wont deter me from continuing to ask him questions about his past, his likes/dislikes, experiences and anything else I need to gather data about. It’s just part of the role of being the new dad and mommy, I’ll just make sure to try and keep the conversation between the two of us. One last experience to leave you with. So mommy and I are in the store with red head and he picks out some Pringles and says “I ate these with my other daddy”. He says it kind of loud; he likes to emphasize his “preferred choices” with some volume in his voice. I think he thinks if he yells it than he will get it. Well, the “real parents” standing in the aisle with us heard his comment. I immediately think, great they are going to call the police and issue an AMBER alert because they think we just kidnapped this kid, who tells their parents they did something with their OD, that’s “suspicious”. Of course we play it off and buy the chips, but we quickly try to head out the door……You never know if that “cotton candy mother” or “supermom” is close behind trying to write down your license plate number.
NB